Saturday, December 5, 2009

The Call

Molly's House - Stuart, Florida
Invariably, it comes at absolutely the worst possible moment. The message drives you to your knees. In an instant, your life is turned upside down. Decisions and actions that were of the utmost importance are relegated to some far away place in your brain as you rearrange priorities, battle guilt, struggle with fear, and are blanketed with gut-wrenching sorrow.

Barely able to return the telephone to its cradle, you suddenly discover rage boiling up inside of you. Stupid phone. Stupid damned phone. Goddamned stupid damned stupid phone! The cradle is no place for a stupid phone. Let’s see how it looks after it has bounced off a wall at 90 miles per hour. Why did I ever buy a stupid phone? Why did I ever allow myself to feel love? Why did I ever allow other people into my life? Why didn’t I run off and live a hermit’s existence totally removed from society, family, and friends?

Decisions suddenly come easily. I’m never going to feel pain again. I’m never going to let anyone into my world. I’m tough. Nobody is going to see me suffer. I’m going to focus on all that needs to be done. I need to be strong for the others. I need to set an example. No one will ever see me cry. I can get through this on my own…

Then, the questions. What do I do now? Who should I call? What about the arrangements? Should I go? Should I go alone? Should I go now? Can I get off from work? Can I afford the trip? Who will be there? What if I don’t go? How do I get there? Where do I stay?

Then, the commitment. I’m going… Right away! I have to be there. I’ll find a place to stay when I get there. Damned the expense. This is more important. I’ll sort out all of that when I get back. I need to be there for ________ (fill in the name of your choice). I need to be there; now!

There is a source for comfort in the most trying times involving the health of family members and loved ones. Little known and underutilized, there are small oases of comfort. Similar to a bed & breakfast, homes have popped up throughout the United States with one simple purpose: to provide affordable accommodations while you tend to the needs of those who are closest to you. Known as hospital hospitality houses, they are frequently affiliated or have close ties to hospitals and medical facilities.

The best-known facilities are the more than 270 Ronald McDonald Houses located throughout the United States and in 52 foreign countries. Started 35 years ago in Philadelphia, these facilities were created to offer families a way to stay together, in proximity to the treatment hospital where seriously ill or injured children receive care. Access to Ronald McDonald Houses is limited to parents of children under 18 years of age.

Similar services are available in homelike environments to families of adults as well as children who are hospitalized in medical facilities throughout the United States. Instead of sleeping in a hospital waiting room or even your car, you can stay at a hospital hospitality house where you can find rest in a warm and supportive environment, usually for a voluntary donation that is a fraction of the cost of a motel room. For more information and a directory of hospitality houses, visit the website for the National Association of Hospital Hospitality Houses (http://www.nahhh.org)